A Family Agony
Stirring a cold treatment and misunderstanding between me and my mother-in-law never entered my mind. Sadly, the situation is inevitable since she wanted something from us or her son and I am the only hindrance. My husband told her that it is in my upbringing so she cannot blame me if I want a space from her and her family. Well, I say it is not only in the upbringing because I know that my family also wanted to be with me always, but it is in the Bible that a man will leave his parents for his wife and they will become one. How can they become one if the parents frequently enter on the relationship of the married couple? We are living in a compound, under my husband grandma’s roof, and to this we are truly grateful that they provided us this very important basic need because we cannot afford to buy one at this time. Due to this and in gratitude, we have to suffice to my husband’s family needs, when our decisions would be interferred because they need us, our time together will be cut off because they need us, we have to do the “pakikisama” in short.
My mother-in-law is a very good person. She already have big sacrifices for her family (details will not be written here `coz it’s another story). She is just quite demanding in a different, guilty way (para mautusan ka niya kahit sobrang busy ka dadaan sa pa-guilty o paawa effect). But she helps us, sometimes when his son do not have money she let him borrow, occasionally cleans the house (even though some of our things were misplaced) sometimes cooks a delicious meal for us, etc. I can feel and see how dearly and truly she loves her favorite son. I appreciate it especially when I was pregnant (before the miscarriage) it was a big help. But then started my complains as they keep on coming in the years of marriage. A feeling that we also carry their family burden (not in detailed) even though we also carry our own burden.
I am not an ingrate. I know I’ve done them favors wholeheartedly. We have given her cellphones which his husband cannot provide, we gave them things like microwave oven, coffee maker, etc., we helped them in some ways that I do not want in detail. I am just fed up with this injection of so-so much closed family ties.
Now that we are in a civil relationship, unlike before which is somehow intimate because I tried to submit in to what she likes, I am pouring out the feelings which my heart cannot already contain.
